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| Moderated by: Richard Hefner | Page: 1 2   |
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| The first of the jokes - Jokes and Funny Stuff - General - ezFolk Forums | |||||||||||||||
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Richard Hefner Administrator 
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Okay... I don't have a joke here. I was trying to move the other joke thread over here but I'm not able to. Guess the joke's on me because I can't delete it either. Last edited on Sat Dec 31st, 2005 12:21 am by Richard Hefner ____________________ Richard Hefner Webmaster, ezFolk.com MP3 Page: http://www.ezfolk.com/audio/richardhefner |
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UkeForever Approved 
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Jokes that go over well at church gatherings... Q: What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian Universalist? A: Somebody who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever. _____________________ This one is funny if you're not Mormon (and maybe even if you are): God called the Pope and said, "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The Pope said, "Well, give me the good news first." So God said, "I have decided to grant your prayer for world peace." "That's great!" said the Pope. "What could the bad news possibly be after that?" "Well," said God, "I'm calling from Salt Lake City."
____________________ Don't let the door hit 'ya where the good Lord split 'ya. John Rockwell's Crazy Songs 
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banjo brad Super Moderator 
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Good, but I had sort of hoped that it would have continued in the musical vein. Keep on pickin'Brad
____________________ ezFolk Help Brad Prickly Pear Music Banjo Brad's ezFolk page TOTMC |
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Richard Hefner Administrator
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Brad... there's room for musical jokes and nonmusical jokes. There's more stuff to make fun of than banjo and ukulele players, although they (we) seem to be at the top of the list.
____________________ Richard Hefner Webmaster, ezFolk.com MP3 Page: http://www.ezfolk.com/audio/richardhefner |
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madog99 Approved 
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Brad this is all your fault !!! Patient : "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" Doctor : "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." Patient : "Is it common?" Doctor : "It's Not Unusual."
____________________ http://ezfolk.com/audio/bands/328/ |
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Davy Dee Approved
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 madog99 wrote: Brad this is all your fault !!!What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
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gerry mcgandy Approved 
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Q. If a banjo player and a drummer jump off the Empire State Building, which one will hit the ground first? A. Who cares?
____________________ Gerry McGandy http://mp3mart.net http://ezfolk.com/audio/bands/556/ |
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mikelewis Approved 
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Latecomer here, but I have one: Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: none, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand
____________________ Michael D. Lewis - ezFolk.com site Michael D. Lewis - Official Website Michael D. Lewis on MySpace |
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ShadyHarrison Approved 
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Q: What happens when you play Country and Western music backwards? A: Your dog comes back to life, your wife comes back to you, and you get out of prison.
____________________ "If I'm going to see the light, maybe I will be alright, for now I'm headin' down that centre line" Mike McLaren. http://ezfolk.com/audio/Shady my ezfolk audio site- Yahoo! |
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viking Approved 
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A sore finger is a sore thing, but a sore thing is not necessarily a sore finger !!!
____________________ Hear You Soon MARK |
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theBlackman Approved 
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Not a joke per-se, but funny. My ex-wife was going through one of our closets and sorting things out. At the time she was about 7 months pregnant. As women do she was "That goes out. This Kayrn can use. This just needs washing..." and so on. Putting the items in piles as she talked to herself. My 4 year-old son was sitting nearby watching the process. She pulled a pair of childs sneakers out and said, "We'll give these to the baby." My son Rustan eyed her up and down for a few moments and then asked, "How do we get them in there?"
____________________ Let each day start as a blank page for life to write upon. http://ezfolk.com/audio/dusty http://cdbaby.com/all/theblackman http://youtube.com/DustinFLeer |
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Preston Approved 
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I realized that this site has made Richard well known all over the world, but I didn't realize how well known untill I visited Rome this summer. A large crowd was standing outside St.Peter's when the door on the balcony of the of the Pope's apartment opened and out stepped the Pope with his arm around Richard. The topper was when the guy next to me asked, "Hey, who's ah da guy with Richard?" _________________________________________________ Ukeforever, I am a Mormon and I think your story is very funny. We've been telling it around here for sometime. Last edited on Tue Aug 22nd, 2006 12:34 am by Preston ____________________ My EzFolk Page: http://ezfolk.com/audio/bands/1072 |
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Richard Hefner Administrator
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Haha... that's funny Preston. Honestly though, most of the people I know aren't even aware that I'm a musician. They think I'm a medical transcriptionist. Boring, but true. On the other hand, most of the people I know wouldn't recognize the pope, so maybe you've got a point. 
____________________ Richard Hefner Webmaster, ezFolk.com MP3 Page: http://www.ezfolk.com/audio/richardhefner |
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viking Approved
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The Complete Country & Western Song Ever since they let my mama out of prison, Thangs down on the farm just ain't the same. Yeah since they gone and let her out that jaaail house, She drove her god damn truck into a train!
____________________ Hear You Soon MARK |
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AmyDK Approved
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That's very similar to an old song written by Steve Goodman and John Prine "You Never Even Call Me By My Name". Their song wanted to include everything that was in country songs, and they forgot a lot, so they put it all into the last verse: "Ever since the dog got drunk and died and Momma went to prison, There ain't nothin' round this farm that's been the same. And, you know, when Momma broke out last Christmas, She drove the god damned getaway laundry truck right into a train."  I sure miss Steve Goodman! Amy
____________________ Amy's ezFolk page Amy on MySpace My Website |
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viking Approved
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Hi Amy I didn't claim it as mine but its nice to find out its source as I'm sure this is. It,s strange the way these things metamorphose on the grapevine. I think I first heard it by either Billy Connolly or Jasper Carrot, but the words I sing Are just a vague recollection of what I heard before the days of video tape. On the same point I was sitting watching Cool Hand Luke the other night and low and behold I here Plastic Jesus. Of course its completely different words and structure to the version I do but then I first heard it handed down through god knows how many variations, transpositions,interpretations etc until the two versions didn't have lot in common other than the title, the tune and the odd line here and there. But isn't that the way folk music should be learnt and played? Original source is fantastic and early recordings may give an idea of how these songs sounded a100+ years ago but I feel folk music is best served by the oral / hand it on tradition as this creates the rich variation that means you can hear these songs time and again without tiring of them. Thanks again for that source Amy Hear you soon MARK
____________________ Hear You Soon MARK |
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davebough Approved 
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What do you get when you play New Age music backwards? New Age Music.
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Ezteq Approved 
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two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff......... Baa Daa Chaa!! thats the only musical joke i know, i do have some others and here they come! why are pirates so great? they just Arrr!! an old married couple are in the bedroom and the wife looks in the mirror and sighs "i'm old, i'm saggy, my hairs gone gray *sob sob*" husband: "at least theres nothing wrong with your eyesight though" in another part of town... a man is struggling to open a jar of pickles and he tries with all his might and he just cant do it, his wife comes over takes the jar and opens it, laying a gentle kiss on her husbands cheek she says "where would men be without us" the husband takes back the jar and growls "still in the garden of eden damn you!" well i didnt say they were great did i but i hope they made you laugh
____________________ Thats No Moon!! Its A Space Station!!!....... no, my mistake it is a moon. |
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wab7254 Approved 
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Do any of yall feel that this forum is probably a bad idea. I guess musicians aint that funny.
____________________ "Lyrics are just wasted time between solos." -? "I'd sell my woman before id sell my geetar." |
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banjo brad Super Moderator
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wab- just for you, some Doctor jokes (well, not jokes, really, but funny): EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX. 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA 5.. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive." Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR 6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn." Submitted by RN no name AND FINALLY!!!................ 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener". Dr. Wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!) Brad Last edited on Fri Oct 6th, 2006 02:32 am by banjo brad ____________________ ezFolk Help Brad Prickly Pear Music Banjo Brad's ezFolk page TOTMC |
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| ezFolk Forums > General > Jokes and Funny Stuff > The first of the jokes | |
